Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
