I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
