It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize