I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
