i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
