hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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