im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
