Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
