I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.