Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.

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  (651): Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip. http://tfl.nu/wq4t
  Replies (2) Good night (754) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.

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  (817): My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room. http://tfl.nu/adc5
  Replies (9) Good night (538) Bad night (2090)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.

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  (605): I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done. http://tfl.nu/lxsz
  Replies (23) Good night (1093) Bad night (4602)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie

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  (520): I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie http://tfl.nu/225r
  Replies (39) Good night (7440) Bad night (1523)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think

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  (763): using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think http://tfl.nu/9ucc
  Replies (3) Good night (2588) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here

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  (614): Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here http://tfl.nu/czu0
  Replies (13) Good night (3167) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher

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  (401): She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher http://tfl.nu/uenp
  Replies (16) Good night (2271) Bad night (2506)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.

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  (858): Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober. http://tfl.nu/aks3
  Replies (2) Good night (1079) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.

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  (515): Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position. http://tfl.nu/fpbx
  Replies (3) Good night (1481) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk

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  (317): I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk http://tfl.nu/c9us
  Replies (10) Good night (1950) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun

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  (615): The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun http://tfl.nu/o67z
  Replies (4) Good night (1403) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Do I really need this much space in my mouth?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Are you already high?

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  (262): Do I really need this much space in my mouth? (414): Are you already high? http://tfl.nu/waj8
  Replies (10) Good night (1292) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  How was it playing wingman?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed

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  (847): How was it playing wingman? (312): I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed http://tfl.nu/t31c
  Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.

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  (586): Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at. http://tfl.nu/sdak
  Replies (2) Good night (297) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again

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  (201): Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again http://tfl.nu/vf35
  Replies (5) Good night (319) Bad night (809)

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