Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.

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(610): If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups. http://tfl.nu/xgvv

Replies (42) Good night (5507) Bad night (936)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.

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(540): I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down. http://tfl.nu/t10x

Replies (12) Good night (2921) Bad night (758)
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(574): View more from Indiana

You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...

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(574): You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing... http://tfl.nu/ux4f

Replies (58) Good night (1677) Bad night (9855)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?

(1-248): View more from Michigan

Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.

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(248): Any little, cute, petite blondes with you? (1-248): Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though. http://tfl.nu/s8t4

Replies (41) Good night (9570) Bad night (1523)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.

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(815): Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants. http://tfl.nu/z0pn

Replies (4) Good night (1853) Bad night (1030)
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(619): View more from California

Be still, my beating vagina.

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(619): Be still, my beating vagina. http://tfl.nu/qyal

Replies (22) Good night (4626) Bad night (1226)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.

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(908): i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend. http://tfl.nu/myz5

Replies (7) Good night (3481) Bad night (845)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.

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(978): It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking. http://tfl.nu/nj2t

Replies (5) Good night (1595) Bad night (616)
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(443): View more from Maryland

i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream

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(443): i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream http://tfl.nu/zdot

Replies (9) Good night (642) Bad night (1518)
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(317): View more from Indiana

My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway

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(317): My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway http://tfl.nu/1ukz

Replies (11) Good night (690) Bad night (875)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what

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(860): Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what http://tfl.nu/zlfv

Replies (4) Good night (653) Bad night (328)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.

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(717): Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable. http://tfl.nu/afco

Replies (3) Good night (731) Bad night (325)
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(407): View more from Florida

you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.

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(407): you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest. http://tfl.nu/qs4v

Replies (10) Good night (1143) Bad night (604)
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(773): View more from Illinois

There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.

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(773): There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table. http://tfl.nu/rbky

Replies (4) Good night (330) Bad night (185)
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(516): View more from New York

If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.

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(516): If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner. http://tfl.nu/amlb

Replies (1) Good night (459) Bad night (143)

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