so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.