I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
