she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
