can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal