kristin has been a bad kristin
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?