the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
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halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
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How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here