yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
