i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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