And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize