You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize