i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
