I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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