Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
