Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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