That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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