i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
