It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
