I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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