Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize