you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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