I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
