That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just pee around me
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
