Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize