he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I want a musical about memes.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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