turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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