I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
