Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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