I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
