I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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