One girl and one boy is just not enough.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
