Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
