I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
