i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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