he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
