just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
