K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
