I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
