Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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