Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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