We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize