Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I believe in your delicious
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
