id be glad to
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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