critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
