dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"