Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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