why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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