I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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