oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
