Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just found puke in my bra..
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
