honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
