i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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