Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
