You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
