If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?