you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.