I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
hahahahaha turkey breast
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.