Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
