dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
