It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i think i have two assholes
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
